May 31, 2018 - by Jessica General
Bananas. Portable, delectable, potassium rich. A quick breakfast, a surefire cramp fix, an unrelenting muse for an infinite myriad of inappropriate jokes. What more does one need to know?
So much more. For the story of the banana is a wholly unique tale, one that cannot be compared with apples or oranges.
Where the Banana Stands
Think about the last time you saw a banana. Most likely, it was within the last 24 hours. But more likely—you probably don’t remember. That’s because bananas are now so ubiquitous in the US that we hardly notice them. Bananas are the top selling fruit in the country (we will ignore the argument that bananas are not, in fact, a fruit at all…for now). They outsell the second and third top fruits (apples and oranges, respectively) by more than double…combined.
Read on and see why, just as Arrested Development taught us, there is always money in the banana stand.
Banana Rising
In the late 1800s, two brothers started importing bananas for the first time to the US (their company would later become Chiquita). But these weren’t the bananas we know today: they were the Gros Michel banana, a larger, creamier, and sweeter variety. . ‘Big Mike’, as the variety is also known, became the first produce imported to the US.
Thanks to their exotic pedigree—and some crafty advertising to help consumers overcome any potential hesitations for partaking publicly in the phallically reminiscent food—bananas quickly gained mass appeal.
Big Mike Splits the Scene
Gros Michel bananas enjoyed their lofty throne for decades, as the Western world continued to be enthralled. In fact, an early 20th century shortage of the fruit inspired the timeless ode ‘Yes! We Have No Bananas’.
Alas, Big Mike’s time as the banana king was slipping away. By midcentury, a fungus all but wiped out the global supply. And the near extinction of the Gros Michel meant the end of imported bananas. Or so it seemed.
In the 1950s, one small produce supplier decided to take a massive gamble and invest in another strain of the fruit—the banana demand was just that unrelenting. One the verge of bankruptcy, they put all of their capital in plantations to grow Vietnamese Cavendish bananas. This supplier later became what is now Dole. Today, the Cavendish is the common banana found in every grocery store, smoothie stand, Starbucks, school lunch box, bodega, and ice cream shop across the Western world. And Dole is the largest producer of fruits and vegetables in the world.
Banking on Bananas
So why invest? For years, another fungus has been ravaging the Cavendish crop across Asia and Australia, and experts believe it is only a matter of time until the blight takes hold globally.
But wait, there’s more.
Each Cavendish banana is an identical genetic copy of every other Cavendish banana. They’re clones. So across the world, their genetic weaknesses are all exactly the same. Every single piece of fruit is the weakest link in the chain.
And unlike apples and oranges, there are no other mainstream, beloved varieties of the common banana. Despite there being over 1000 varieties of the fruit, only the Cavendish is widely exported.
So what's the next top banana? In 50 years, will we be grabbing a plantain with our flat white? Or paying an upcharge for a red banana in our midafternoon smoothie? Beats me! I just know that you should invest, not WHERE you should invest. So sorry.
Do I have more to say about this topic? Of course I do. But that's enough for now. Go forth and seek your own area of esotericism—it's terribly useful for cocktail-less cocktail parties and second dates you are certain you will never see again.